mmmm so watery

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 23:37:09 GMT

adventures in bro-land? yesterday jason and i divvied up some norco, xanax and vicodin with beer to wash it down. felt relaxed and numb and pleasant. my first time taking prescription opiate pills or whatever. felt like a bro back in the day. after a cigarette at one point i began to get a bit nauseous and it was only alleviated after i laid on the cold bathroom tile. all better! so we popped the e. hehe yaaaay god i love that shit. we listened to a lot of old jazz and bossa nova, and bits of electronica. joao gilberto, charlie parker, count basie, thievery corporation, henry mancini... loves it. i began to text some friends that i havent seen in ages... well a little over a week or so i guess. got some responses, but then he texted me out of the blue. the squirrel nut zipper you might say? said he was newly single and wanted to hang out with me; i could tell he was excited. well i guess i am too :P but from here we must tread carefully. is he in pain? im going to interrogate his feelings so i know hes not just repressing some emotion. i dont need some sad baggage dropped on me.

and i think that she must be very sad. but she was paranoid throughout and would tell others that i shouldn't see him. which only helped lead to the end im sure. so the lesson? dont be an inconvenient leech.

so i guess no comedown cos i am happy as clam :)

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 22:48:22 GMT

finally!!!!!!!!! im done with my jury exams. victory DOES wait on my fingers.

and im proud to say i did a good job. they were impressed. and surprisingly i was not so nervous. i kept taking big breaths while playing and it seemed to help. i have three more finals to pull out of my ass, but they are nothing compared to what i had to go through today. already feel like im on winter break.
to drop the acid or not? well i will, but when i have no idea. in any case i will celebrate tonight and get trashed :D and meet some certain someones

in a more realistically female empowering image, i cannot get enough of bikini kill lately.
ugh, i am so freaking happy its all over with!

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 02:10:30 GMT

my first american apparel purchase. since when can i afford such extravagances? well it was ten dollars off, im in a "buy something to make yourself feel better" mood, but mostly theyre the cutest glasses ive seen yet. still wondering if im ever going to get around to having them filled with the prescription for my eyes. getting a bit tired of the big old black frames that everyone seems to have nowadays.

roflcopter. i should be shot for saying that but its been stuck in my head lately.
speaking of great music.

radiohead, portishead, morrissey, beirut, cat power, fleet foxes, yeah yeah yeahs, sonic youth, the specials, new york dolls, madness, friendly fires, grizzly bear, depeche mode... to name a few. amazing no? best performance show, the only?, on television. its a shame i have to give up the cable next week. by the way, id rather not resort to putting them in the same paragraph, but katy perry, lady gaga, the noisettes, gossip, bat for lashes and regina spektor are all terribly boring. come on ladies, you can do better.
now, where the hell are my buffalo wings.

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 07:05:12 GMT

finally finished memorizing my speech. reciting a bit of juicy by mr. biggie smalls :P took me a little over an hour. tougher than i thought. of course it doesnt compare to memorizing a piece of classical music. thats another story alltogether.
first final is up tomorrow. now too worried just some music theory. and i think i aced my logic exam :) also, why do professors think its okay to give an additional test before finals week? why not just make that the final? and no cumulative bull that nobody will remember anyways. rawrgh.
talking to the old friend again. i know i should agree with him, but it bothers me that he aggressively tells his girl that its me on the other end. no drama, please. especially when i know she dislikes me. id go in for a hug and she'd be limp and cold. if she thinks im that much of a threat, well i have to say im flattered haha. she probably thinks im beastly.
friday night wont come soon enough :(

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 20:51:04 GMT

geeking out in black and white.

there were a few good things that came out of these awkward bumbling times, but the greatest of all was the resurgence of my interest in punk/ mod/ rockabilly what have you. i mean it spans this great scope of music and time but for some reason they all mesh so well.
meanwhile, i drank too much tequila one night and ended up in the arms of some hardcore dance punk drummer. really didnt meant for that to happen. i mean, i love death from above and fucked up, but im just not that into you. sauza acts but never really thinks about the repercussions, ie. what reputation?
i guess the dj is actually interested. his texts seem utterly enthusiastic, and i want to play along but i barely know him. its like im talking to a person with no face. literally, because i have no idea what the fuck he looks like. all i see is good music flowing from some technics, and not to sound shallow but that imagery aint half bad. so whats the one thing holding me back? he used to shoot footage for the ex. theyre good friends. or they used to be. small world. small fucking valley. and they will both be at the birthday celebration so... we'll see how that goes. i was promised drunken merriment and to be attended to by this new boy. entertaining.

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 08:49:03 GMT

sooo i drew this picture for meet mix mogul in about a day. spent hours pencilling and inking and expected praise. like an ass. then saw a flier, without my drawing, with a seahorse as its' theme and of course i was sore. not use my drawing? and steal my theme? i was pissed. for about three hours until i was told that the drawing was to saved for a later date. for the bentleys? i dont know who they are but it definitely makes things better.
tonight i went to a "festival" in noho and saw a lot more familiar faces... then i wouldve liked. it was such a random event that i thought i would never go to. bj ran into mr. three sheets. it was all very hectic but who minds when im tipsy. such as now. a member of animals on coke asked where the dude was. i only shrugged in response. why should i care? well bj told me he liked my plainness. so i guess im plain? good? i dont really know.
afterwards we went to a bar called norwood on... on some street. but i would pass it many a time. they played real old school hip hop and the place was packed. i felt out of place, but at the same time.. completely comfortable. oh southern california... how i love you unconditionally.

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 02:01:39 GMT

what a lovely weekend. first was the eagle rock music festival... which was free. which also made it packed with processed rocknrollbluesies and unsuspecting families. was strange. but also got to eat two free tacos! listened to pocahaunted in what looked like a small church dancefloor to the side, behind the pupusa vendors. selling plantains i could not afford :( two free tacos! and lots of modelo and mickeys, blegh, in big gulp cups with cops strolling down the streets. we would refill the cups in portapotties. luxuriously dirty. saw the first two songs or so of peanut butter wolf, took a while to set up but who cares cos zach de la rocha was standing right next to us. if i was still 13 i wouldve freaked out in tears. zach de la rocha! he is short. er than i realized.

we ended the whole thing with seeing no age, for the millionth time, but theyre so fun why does it matter. wore my big glasses and jesus sandals but i was too drunk to care and flailed myself into the mosh pit and shoved everybody around like a complete asshole. just a really healthy way to let out some my aggression. so now im just really in the mood to go to noise or hardcore shows and get knocked around. seems like my maturity is going backwards but ugghh its just too fun. and con and i were the only ones out of our friends, and the only girls in the audience, who stuck it out. props.
the next day we went to echo curio to see allah las and sad horse and bugs and such. walked around outside in the fall cold with pabst blue ribbons in brown paper bags. the coppahz said none. but when we told the man in charge what we were sipping he replied "how very tight pants of you". well we sported tight pants into our 7th anniversary, why should we not wear them? urban outfitters never dictated how to sew up our pants back in high school. theres no need to be ashamed in clothing that will remain fashionable even when it loses its fad.
this sunday, crossing my fingers: part time punks fest at the echo with the raincoats, crystal stilts, rainbow arabia, gang of four, lady from the slits, kid congo powers, savage republic and such and such. looks fun with lots of old school punk. yeah they might be a little wrinkly, but im down!

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 00:20:40 GMT

actually spent some time to draw something. pushing to make it mine. jumble of styles but ill always have that pen and paper. anyways its all for distraction. and now that ive finished i feel pretty bummed again which is just absolutely silly.
after seeing him at los toros i just couldnt accept the fact that we'd be forever estranged. immature, no? so i tell him that i know i was lame and weird to him but that we always had good times so lets still be okay like sort of friends. theres nothing that makes me sad more to know that a person i once had great adventures with has forgotten that connection he or she had so much potential for. since when have we become complete strangers? he says that i shouldnt think of myself as lame. even though honestly im pretty sure i was a weird. and he said he was a baby and everything was good and we would hang out soon. formalities, but it made me happier. i hated how we had left things the night he broke it off.
but even better. i guess he told mart that he felt like an asshole. yeah, but that kind of makes me look pitiful. so no thanks, not that he wanted me to find this out. and mart said he was an idiot. as did bj and manny. this made me feel very happy because his friends like me and i had felt very confused about myself after getting the dump. a fat girl does not need any more insecurities.
anyways, this makes me feel a lot better. but it also gives me that false hope that i do notttt want to even peek at. itll only make things worse. and this is where i go back to the drawing board.

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 06:22:16 GMT

i am so freaking bored. but i dont think i can bring myself to fill out another stinking survey. so i guess ill have to post and admire some clothes
if i could afford it, i would be a topshop whore.

for some reason i can't find a simple chain bracelet. one with really big links. ykno the kind cholos wear but for my wrists. thats all i want out of life right now. well speaking in accessories that is. no leather strap bracelets zzz. it's weird im into "background" shades yet all the jewelry i want is in gold haha.
and wow talk about monochromatic and faded. well i was never one for the spotlight. but goodness these subtle shapes! if only someone could give me a million dollars.

anyways it all adds up to this:

i know right... died and gone to heaven

okay time to stop wallowing in my debt.

and also, my boyfriend makes me very happy :P and kinda crazy.

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 16:02:48 GMT

i have 17 dollars to last me until wednesday. which is more like 2 dollars because its friday and the weekend is starting. better ration that gas.
i don't mean to be that girl set on tradition, but it is nice having a boyfriend when he insists on driving me around and buying me movie tickets or food :) of course that means i buy the more extravagant vices... like alcohol. but boy am i happy to. recession, baby. so yeah, new boyfriend.
the day before it happened we all went to fuck yeah fest, which was pretty amazing. wavves, lightning bolt, fucked up, tim & eric, no age and black lips all at a park on the edge of chinatown.

im sheltering my face after it got landed on by eric when he decided to stage dive on top of my head. and the worst was when right after that happened the crowd swarmed-crushed me to get a closer look at him. out of all the bands, why do i get damaged at tim and eric. i really only positioned myself there to get a good view for the next bands. then again, after no age i left with beer, water and cotton candy soda in my hair and a bruised nose and nearly threw up from dehydration at black lips. yay festivals. earlier in the day i drank too many ridiculously expensive drinks, and liquor after beer (tsk tsk), and pretty much flirted with this guy i only met once before but insisted i design his tattoo. yes the alcohol assisted, but i was mostly bummed because i felt frank was being all distant and weird. made me feel shitty and like 'hey boyzzz whatz uppp' also tumbled in the grass with some fool in a straw hat tripping on acid.
when i got home that night i said i wanted to talk. he said he did too. started to mentally prepare myself to lose this crazy opportunity to be with someone who doesn't have an ounce of coward or douchebag in him. but we sat at his little skate park and though it happened pretty fucking awkwardly, it happened. really goddamn happy.

wow, look at how cool these people are just chillin at the vermont house. FAIL. went with the 'east of the 405' crowd, ill never use that term again but i couldnt think of anything else to describe them, to see marty and cobalt cranes. its like where all the assholes from the smell congregate. nobody was mean to me but they were remixing old daft punk, talk about dull and 5 years ago, and insulting marty >:l because their sad little minds only went so musically far as vampire weekend. OUCH haha. plus the vibes were all wrong. its a party, get along. not to be all valley crazy, but you dont get that shit around here. there could be a room with the lamest people, but theyll all kick it together. even if theyre assholes during the daytime. you could literally go up to anyone and hug them and share old stories that never even happened. its just funny that paper magazine would write an article about this place. just because the house has a roof/patio and the girls wear floral doesnt necessarily mean theyre the shit. not even hipster shit.

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 05:55:41 GMT

i start school tomorrow. took cough medicine to fall asleep, and because im a little sick, but its not working. maybe cos im trying to sleep six hours earlier than usual. good job kat. spent the last three hours frenetically planning everything for a most likely zombie morning. hmm. and i was about to drink heavily tonight!

fun is definitely not over. this sunday frank and i will meet up with the con and adrian for dare i say... double date? but who cares we're going to the silent movie theatre to see no age play a live soundtrack for the bear! fun fun fun. was deathly afraid that i wouldnt go but i just bought my tickets :) i keep thinking he is annoyed of me so i was all nervous... but i guess not so thats good.
maybe some indian jewelry on the 27th. fuck yeah fest on sept. 5 with black lips and tim and eric. maybe its always sunny in philadelphia 'the night man cometh' on the 25th. and perhaps if im lucky some cocorosie, wavves and pixiiieeesssssss. and david sedaris but thats all the way in may. why do all the good shows happen in the fall. maybe cos the air is cool and jackets are another piece to add to cute ensembles. happy.

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 20:39:35 GMT

dream: i went back to my room with frank and some other girl i'd never seen before. she was nice. we were about to go to a party and i wanted to find a different shirt to wear so i was digging through my closet. a group of people come in and start hanging out. i dont mind even if theyre a little loud. i keep saying i need to find a different shirt but all i see are weird girly clothes like a rainbow striped skirt with these awful ruffles. i need to find a black v-neck shirt for a party that only allows people in a black v-neck shirt to come in. more people noisily pile into my room. i know my mom is the only one home so i start to yell and say that they need to get out. i tell them it isn't a party. they are all surprised and agree to go. people start to come out of my closet to leave and at the end of the line i see a middle aged fat man come out with my mom. i get pissed and start to scream. i pull him and hold him by his collar and slap him. his nose starts to bleed but i feel like im not hitting him hard enough. everything goes in slow motion. i push him to the ground and sit on top of him as i start to punch his face. he says some things in between punches that i dont understand, but it pisses me off more so i sock him harder. blood starts to come from his forehead and i stop. i get up and me and frank decide its time to bone out. i yell at my mom one more time and then we head for the mall of the future.
it looks like this immense space station. i remember looking at some stores. dont know the details. its time to go to these weird space ships thatll take us somewhere safe. except i feel like a fugitive, and im not sure whether i killed the guy or not, so im just in this state of awful paranoia. we pass the 'scene of the crime' and i see a bunch of guy in these sterile blue suits investigating the body and such. i hurry by and try not to trip over my own feet. we finally get to the spaceship but the entrance requires that only one person can enter at a time. you have to step past this layer of green goo and pass a certain test. it is usually an eye scan and you have to run your id card through several different times to gain access. frank goes first and is successful. i go in next but instead of an eye scan it goes on to make me play this simluation of some battle. i have to say a series of numbers to deploy ships and people around me clap when i do. they're all these middle aged men with blue tooths and such making important business calls. the battle takes too long and i feel like its meaningless so i give up and try my luck by actually entering the main area of the ship. it works.
the ship is crowded. the first room looks like a food court. i ordered the deep fried fish last time and i didnt like it. i pass by little nooks and crannies and finally see frank sitting down at a table with some chubby guy. i sit down and ask what i should get to eat. he says he should get the same indian plate he has but without the island and the desert. i dont know if i tried to go get it or not. all of a sudden the spanish inquisition starts and a long line of people pass. most of them carry long stretchers with dead men in v for vendetta/guy fawkes masks. at the head and foot of each stretcher is a little baby, alive, who receives kisses from those that carry them.

Sun, 16 Aug 2009 19:23:50 GMT

the joys of being a reuben sandwich. dont put turkey in it! or pastrami. it could only be corned beef, sauerkraut, mayo and swiss on rye bread. some say to put thousand island, but dont you think the little chunks of relish conflict with the all-encompassing glory that is the shredded german cabbage they call kraut?

why is it that the headliner in today's news is the pregnancy of a kardashian, and not the recent drop of a public option for health reform? good job, world.
last night started at midnight but it was eventful nonetheless. the show was at an airport but as soon as i arrived i drop into the lap of the bar and order a beer. he's there but we seem to put our focus on old friends. which is good because i feel i havent taken some time out of a burgeoning... something, and played with the people i knew before. well i played with them by taking shots in the parking lot. met the rest of bastidas and theyre all so ridiculously sweet and charming and i felt no qualms of displaying my drunken friendliness. and they enjoyed it. ahh new faces are always so nice. especially when theyre not hard on the eyes. after it all ends a group of us, maybe around 14, go to the diner, where i obviously had my reuben. i sit with two punk kids both named george. they were cousins and the easiest way to tell them apart was that one was wearing a leather jacket with buttons and the other wore a jean jacket with studs. the one with leather tells me he wants to get with con, and i secretly look him over to see if she would approve. but it seems incredibly unlikely that anything would happen... i told him there was a waiting list. meanwhile my legs are locked with another under the table and i try to hide my smiles. the cripple is at the other table staring us down and whispering obscenities in jealousy that he isnt sitting at our table. i constantly fix my shirt because i could feel the eyes staring down my neck. im told its instinct, and i believe them but it is not necessarily my instinct to just sit there and take it.

Thu, 06 Aug 2009 07:17:01 GMT

ending of summer school is killing me. analytical paper, doc. review and quite possibly a missed assignment are due by midnight on saturday. will i even be able to go out that day? i planned to see kiwi's art show and try to catch the last hours of mekja's 21st birthday. these are both vital to not only being entertained but for being with those that i actually care about. RAWRGH. i would get started now but i just finished the last exam and i am fucking pooped even with the help of concentrated caffeine. i got a b on it :l fuck. cant get a c so its making me hang by a thread.
i also lost peanut for a couple of hours today. the back door was open and by the time i got home from piano she was long gone. i fucking freaked out. drove around trying to make each little street worthwhile. cried a little, was too frantically worried for tears, and was just in a state of anguish. overreacting? miko is gone and i swear if someone ran over peanut or picked her up cos shes cute... id probably go into hysterics. i literally love her, she is always with me and if i lost her i dont know what id do. shes unmistakably my best friend. turns out a kind lover of dogs took her in and inquired later in the day if she just so happened to be mine. i almost burst into tears in front of him.
on a lighter note... i was told i have excellent sight reading. hurrah. i know its not 100 percent true, and by the 15th page my brain begins to go numb, but here's to busting shit out when i havent practiced.

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 21:56:45 GMT

arrived at the party a little too early (at the par-teee) and sat in front drinking a slow beer and a quick cigarette. say hello to some old friends i havent seen in weeks and catch up in all the drama. mostly we hung out in the shadows together trying to console his "jealous lover" . turn into a teenage goo goo muck. 'if you kiss her, you have to kiss me twice as hard!' i dont think he knew i was listening in. seems like hours, the party gets bigger but we decide that it is dead regardless of how many drinks ive had. the stupor has worn off anyways. we tried to leave but the last person needed is rolling on ecstacy and dancing by himself in the backyard. i go to try to convince him its time to leave, we were his ride, but all i get is bumping and grinding and the taps from random strangers for me to stay. it is definitely time to go. the dj was good though. i remember hearing some blonde redhead i havent heard in ages, some crystal castles, and i cant really remember what else. frankie vallie but the effect of that mix has worn off a long time ago. so we leave him behind and drive to a friend's house for more cerveza. the host sits on his broken leg watching boyz in the hood, and inevitably the passive aggression starts. in a friendly way. i lean back amused and see some glances from the bear and cannot help but falter a little. his face is fuzzy and his wit is sharp. if you can call it that. but it is only for looking and not touching anyways. in the end we exchange watermelon kisses and i stumble to the car. tonight is up in smoke.

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 01:27:39 GMT

what to say. last time we spent hours on top of a hill too busy talking to watch the stars. lying under the tree and trying to keep each other warm on a curiously foggy summer night. how cheesy but i never experienced anything so cheesily honest with a guy, so of course i love it. earlier that same night he crawled out of bed to answer my call and spend some time. there were many people where i was at celebrating the final scenes being completed for the video. i dont know who started it but we were acting very close in front of those that i meet from time to time but they were already readily acquainted with him. felt a little... self conscious.

i keep forgetting how beautiful she sings. watching something like american masters episode on her. mentioned jimmy cooper and benny goodman. i may not be jazz savvy but goodness i love that pop and swing. one day i will understand modal. if it's possible. the solos get me, but do i really get them? oh billie billie billie. you give me goosebumps and cloak my skin with buttercups at the same time.

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 21:29:06 GMT

there is no way im going to be able to do my homework. usually im into watching documentaries on how fucked up our world is but im in too much of a happily excited mood. yesterday i saw kenneth anger films.
they were beautiful and surreal and filled with symbolism that i was too tipsy to really pick apart. ill watch them again someday. they showed lucifer rising, rabbit's moon, images, scorpio rising and something i didnt catch the name of. i cant get over his taste in music... it makes me smitten. its funny how much i paid attention to it compared to seeing nothing of bride of frankenstein the night before, which is obviously a lot easier to understand. but the dj spinned bauhaus and joy division and i couldnt be happier.

ive seen his face a couple times now. i can still count them on my fingers and i should change that. i told him we should move slower cos i cant do it alone. its like im incapable of restraining myself. he said the same. we don't have very much in common and don't have much to talk about yet, but we're always blabbering about what we're thinking at the moment... were you embarrassed then... no i thought you were and so and so. or how theres incredibly awkward instances that we can crack up about and then cheerily recline like it was a high point of the day. im glad we're both stuttering dorks. it makes things so much more comfortable, even though you think it wouldnt. two negatives make a positive i guess.

Sat, 18 Jul 2009 08:05:50 GMT

just got back from the camping trip. hiked 8 miles! i cannot believe it either. i was eating so much when i got home and began to dread the exercise routine until i realized that i climbed down two miles of mountain earlier today. thank goodness i could eat my chocolate cake without worry.
watching delicatessen and it is quite good. never know what to expect next. amelie was amazing but i can already tell this is more of my kind of movie. clever french blood and gore, yes please. also the funny bits like when he and the meat mistress are imitating sex by bouncing on the bed in different angles to find the squeaky spring. times a million. or how the phrase 'life is beautiful' sets off the bullshit detector.
couldnt stop thinking about him. still cant. its just very exciting to know how excited he is about it all. i hope i see him tomorrow. which will only happen if he cancels his previous plans... just for me. well he should after my big mouth slipped up and loudly proclaimed to a friend how our date could go perfectly. i guess it put him in a good mood because we started to tumble like playful puppies.
listening to a lot of crass. what a fucking rip off. oy oy oy.

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 08:59:12 GMT

im on those pills again and i guess my tolerance lowered because it doesnt look like ill be sleeping again tonight. to occupy my twakked out mind ive been on a long run of watching skate videos. realize i dont know much about the pros but so far im obsessed with andrew reynolds and dustin dollin

i hope it doesnt look as dorky or desperate as it seems. and its not like im infatuated with their looks or anything. i remember going to black lips show and putting my hands on spanky long to get by in the crowd. i thought he was a girl and the only thought on my mind was trying to find an open spot to have a cigarette. wasnt until the ecstatic bubbling rant of a friend that i realized who it was i brushed by. and i still didnt give a fuck. but now im completely enamored with dollin. its not like he has the cleanest of tricks but i love how he just goes for it and doesnt give a damn. results in some of the craziest shit ive ever seen. reynolds on the other hand is completely stylish and his ocd proves fruitful because that guy can fucking fly. okay its dorky. like omg sk8r boi. ah well.
and i want to see harry potter. the last one was just awful to be honest... well they all are except the third one. bride of frankenstein this saturday after three days of hiking and camping! its going to be a good week.

Mon, 13 Jul 2009 08:47:15 GMT

bravo bravo bravo. top chef masters blows the original completely out of the water. i watch reality shows but tend to skip over the drama cos it just makes everything so drab and pitiful. so in top chef i just want to see the amazing food they can pull out of their asses in less than thirty minutes. now that it's masters all the competitors are already well well well established executive chefs and the prize is a donation to the winner's charity of choice. the whole show is unbelievably likeable except for one tiny, or rather stick thin, aspect: the host. the casting of padma whatever seemed infinitely more valid than the frail looking model theyve shoved in for looks. im probably just jealous that she gets to eat all this great food without having any prior food critic experience or credentials. and the eye makeup screams tweaker.

sooo i guess ahemcoughcough wanted to see me tonight to watch a movie, either the ol' wickerman or the new bruno, but i had too much to do. there never wouldve been enough time to get through bach and shower and put on makeup and so and so before i go out to meet him. but it puts me in such a nice mood. finally! someone likes me. apparently he's a really good skater and for now thats pretty adorable but later itll probably make me all gooey inside. in fact ive already been watching way too much epicly later'd. plus the way he dresses reminds me a of a more casual joy division. okay ill shut up now.
for about the past two weeks i havent exercised. badddd. but i did tonight and i got nauseous and my knees felt weak awfully quick. how sad. i felt like i could feel my cheeks blowing up. but i ran the mile faster than i had before! nice. just need to make my work out sessions a little earlier because these summer nights, except for this particular day, seem utterly eventful. which is a good thing but i must remember to utilize the hard stuff and not depend on that delicious but blubbersome beer.

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 00:40:54 GMT

so yesterday borrah and i go kick it at connies pad instead of watching jaws at cinespia. latest discovery? calpico/milkis + soju = yummmmers. danced to prince, can you tell, and shuffled to take pictures. aww new buddies are always welcome. plus the fuckers make me laff.

i was informed that someone liked me and i wanted to know who just for kicks. it's rare that the feeling is mutual and there are no other lovers in the way. turns out i am pleasantly surprised :P he is coming with us tonight and told borrah to bring another guy. i guess he didnt realize til recently he just set up a double date cos borrah told me he is starting to get nervous. that is too fucking cute. i think im getting nervous too... i've never been on a date with someone i barely know.
guess i should have a little pick-me-up before they pick me up. haaaa. we're watching brazillllll. i think this will be the best cinespia yet. well, you know... it better be. i just need to practice that self control that i always fail at. just need to play it cool... and easy... but not that kind of easy. aggghh i guess i am nervous! this makes things harder especially if you're a raving dork like me. ill probably be all awkward and shit while completely trashed to calm myself. oh well.

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 19:12:41 GMT

ahhhhh the summertime! ive been seeing people more recently. which is good. i shouldve gotten out of the habit of being seclusive. school has ended and the nights are warm; there is no excuse! east of eden last week was tres fun. managed to find my way back home, somehow, on that dreaded 101 and make my way to her house to call boys, ha! this resulted in going back this saturday with said boys, two days away!, to see jaws for fourth of july. fun! and before that is a barbeque with sharon at the park. and after is the remnants of a barbeque at connies. the following sunday? another movie it is! brazil!

discovery of the week? the art of dr. seuss! read countless books of his of course, but never knew that he painted the abstract so vividly as his characters. i had some time to kill at borders and like a good girl i went straight to the art section knowing i only had a half hour on my hands. also found this immense coffee book of the guy who drew for the beatles and a collection of three art journals by art spiegelmen. oh! and a book of hand drawn patterns which is, of course, wholly in my taste.

st. louis blues- joplin. quite surprising and immensely beautiful. so i take my time this one night to dress nicely, appropriately. hardest way for me to dress is that business/semi formal attire without looking drab or every day. how far can a pair of black pinstripe pants take you? not far, im afraid. and this is all more difficult because my unrelenting wish of wearing skirts is cut off, no pun intended, by that self-awareness of my unusually thick calves. is there a way to strap those bebbies in. anyways it was fruitless labor because i only stayed for 10 minutes and he wasnt even there...
last night i had a dream in which i debated long and hard over who was better: joy division or new order? when i woke up, which was less than an hour ago, i couldnt bring myself to listen to either one. speaking of music... PIXIES ARE TOURING!!!!! well only in europe so far. for only a month. but theyre playing it as a doolittle tour in which they play all the songs off of the album. a year ago the last thing i wanted to do before i die was see radiohead. and after i saw them i decided the last thing i wanted to do before i died was to see the pixies. my wish better come true! connie and i decided to gather everybody up for a slumber party and buy the tickets together. why were we not born ten years earlier. f i r e i n c a i r ooooooo

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 00:32:51 GMT

... where the fuck has thursday gone. i completely missed the deadline for one of the assignments. except i turned it in this morning, not yet having realized what day it was, and i got a grade. usually im just supposed to be kicked off the program sooo im guessing i went through a loophole. like always, slipsthroughcracks. anyways, i have now vowed to make use of my mornings because im tired of being at teh edge of insanity. the library once a week it is! i honestly dont think ive gone for... a year. this is pretty ridiculous. when i was little i always wanted a library of my own like the one in beauty in the beast. haha... right. so instead ive decided to try and visit some place that has books stacked up to the celings. and spiral staircases too of course. i literally had a beautiful library 30 steps away from my dorm room and i didnt go for two full semesters. yeah i have no pitiful excuse to try to make up. tomorrow i go to the public library for some r&r&r. rest, relaxation and reading. cheese! i should be shot.

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 06:40:08 GMT

just finished watching a documentary on jeff koons. on a lighter note, it's official... i have food poisoning. just kidding. i mean yes i did eat something really shitty but i don't know how koons is "darker" than that. anyways, fluids it is. this means i have to throw away a bunch of fish. i'm having a lot more difficulty with this than i should be. at least i think so. eh.

speaking of well being and the crude, i saw this memorable ren & stimpy in which ren gets a horrible toothache, better known as an attack by the tooth beavers, and laughed my relatable ass off. pictured above is a tooth beaver attacking one of ren's nerve endings. this is exactly what it feels like before you drag yourself for a root canal. i saw this episode a while ago but sat through it again because i happened to know better this time around.
im pretty sure this is just how he acts, but that guy sure is all touchy feely. hands not emotions. youd think it helps that he is very attractive but it is the exact opposite. am i supposed to act in sweet indifference as this gorgeous boy acts so... "familiar"? you are secretly in cahoots with my friend, my friend, and if i happened to not know id turn on my charm full force. alas. it made me almost forget that he thinks nico saved the velvet underground. wow is he wrong. so so so so so so wrong.

saturday proves fruitful. at 7 i drive to south los angeles to listen to a peer sing at the pompeian room, filming locations of such movies as catch me if you can, inland empire, benjamin button and blah blah blah. but most importantly the mother to all music expelled from my school. hopefully wanner is there. he is honestly the only reason i am going. im definitely not staying for the whole thing and will remain standing in the rear hallway, where no regular audience member may venture, so that i may leave at any moment. why? cinespia take two! going with bj to watch the graduate was, like we reinstated a trillion times, amazing. i was disgustingly satisfied eating my fritos scoops and drinking straight from a bottle of arbor mist. tasteless but enjoyable. there is also no security checks. the workers there assured us we could sleep in the graveyards if we wanted to. very laidback and very repeatable. so this weekend we'll probably have the addition of albino ben who i remember from high school but was most notably the boy who lacked a myspace and asked me to go 5 cent bowling with the gang. i refused being utterly shy then, so we'll see how my fresher personality fits. also, when bj and i left we saw a woman, who in the past life was a man, strutting her stuff down the sidewalk in white lingerie. i slowed the car so bj would be able to take a picture and the woman only glanced to retort "betch". good times.

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 00:52:52 GMT

released the butterflies not ten minutes ago. their wings flapped more lively in the habitat so i thought it was a good time to go. spread your wings and flyyyy! decided to start a little collection of nature tidbits. so far i have the chrysalis remains, some feathers and a pile of smooth pebbles. have yet to find a place to safely store them in individual compartments. we'll see.

so maxwell is using my/ jason's design for one of their t-shirts! then i think "why didnt njt" especially cos my designs for them were a little more clever. and i did a bunch of em. guess im just butthurt from a frail but persistent ego. anyways i was asked to put out some ideas from another new band, this time being punk, but i dont find it very inspiring. honestly i find none of this quite exciting. i think the only reason i could spit out so many drawings during the sylmar days is because, well it was the sylmar days. i actually hung out with these people and constantly sat in on band practices. to have near strangers ask of me to do the same thing seems kind of... a pain in the ass. also the things i like to draw recently have been a little more honest with my head. verging on strange but stemming from honest inspiration. i don't draw "crude" cartoons because i think im better, i dont because i cant.

going to watch the graduate at the hollywood cemetery tomorrow. cinespia! will be my first time and hopefully not my last. i hear they allow alcohol. unfortunately i missed the showing of funny face but im sure more classic movies will come. id die for some black and white. maybe a litttle bogart or hepburn? katharine of course. crossing my fingers, they have yet to announce the july movies.